i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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