im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
