is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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