She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
