You made me cry and you don't even care
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
