They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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