so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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