I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
