Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize