So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
