Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
