you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
