I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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