Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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