i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am never drinking with the goths again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
