don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
