Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
