thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize