he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
