he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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