I'm gonna have a badass scar
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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