yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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