You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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