I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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