pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
