um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
