Are we in a gay sports bar?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Randomize
