thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
