I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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