obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wish you could order shots online.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
