hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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