I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
