Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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