Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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