No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
