how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
