I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
