Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
