We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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