Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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