Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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