I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
