the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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