i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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