just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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