Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
