So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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