so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
