I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i dont even know how to be here
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh god it's open bar.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize