I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
