I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
