btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
