And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
