I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
