Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
