Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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