CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
