'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How does one acquire holy water?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
